WHO DO WE BLAME?

Recently, Ato and I had a discussion/argument about who to blame when a child doesn’t turn out well.

This was based on a case we were analyzing.

See I have this friend, parents are mad rich, he was brought up outside the country and all.

Now this boy is now out of control. What he does is not soo “wrong” per se, in short, people will actually call it cool and stuff; like pulling a gun on his dad’s bodyguard after a good whooping for snitching on him.

I do find it sexy. But we all know that’s not our culture. Acceptable in London perhaps, but here? Nope

I digress.

Now what my argument was that you can’t really blame the boy because from all indications, his busy parents didn’t have time to nurture him. He was over there in London with busy relatives who didn’t have time for themselves not to talk about for him. So he picks up things on the street, gang life, weed, guns etc. You now bring him over to Ghana and expect him to what? Be an angel? I blame the parents and the circumstances. I’m not saying he couldn’t have made an effort. He could have. But be honest to yourself, left with your own devices, what would you rather? A good child or an adventurous one?

Ato on the other hand blamed the child. He doesn’t believe lack of parental care is an excuse for a child to be messed up. He asked me about those who were brought up in similar situations but are level headed guys. He believes the child has a choice to make, to be good or bad. Once this choice is made, we can’t blame anyone but the child. I cite Chris Agyeman as an example. He should prolly invest in plastic surgery tho. But I digress again. I swear if I was in that boy’s shoes eh? Like I won’t go to school! But see he turned out just fine maybe cos his parents play an active role in his life. Ato also raised the issue of children from god-fearing homes who turn out wrongly. I would like to cc myself here but I don’t think I’m that messed up!  So my question tonight is, who do we blame? Parents or kids?  Cos I believe whatever the choice a child makes, if conditions are not favorable, they can’t follow their chosen course! We all need some form of parental care/supervision. And I’m not only talking about biological parents only. Please use the comment box!

 

Heartbreak

Reblogged from the JR show:

Hello guys, KJR here. Today, I’m privileged to introduce @Junkieonmars as our Guest of Honour. Enjoy, Comment and Share. ****************************************************************************************

Things started to spiral out of control long before 2006, but until then I had been able to find some level ground. From that year though, nothing seemed to work out.

My parents got divorced. My mother disowned me. I started university.

Read more… 626 more words

@_no_username

People say we shouldn’t take social networks personal. They are the clueless ones. Have you ever had friendships that surpasses blood relationships? Do you have that one friend that gets you? One that you trust completely? The kind of friend that even a fresh convo after months of silence is effortless? One that you never need to explain urself to? One who will stay by u no matter how low ur reputtation sinks? That one friend that calling a brother or sister doesn’t even cut it? That friend who says “I don’t approve of what you do but I accept you as you are”? Do you have such a friend? Well I do! I met him through a random facebook friend request. 3 and something years later Derek Ato Sampson aka No Username has been a rock in my life. Today being his birthday, I choose to honor him here. Please check out my post “Awesome” which was inspired by and for him. Happy Birthday Ato!!!!

NAME-DROPPING

Every once in a while, we meet people that we want to impress so bad that we go out of our way to be someone else instead of ourselves.
Could be through our dressing, speech, eating habits etc.
We usually forget that as long as we are fronting and not being ourselves, the façade will fall off in no time.
How long can you pretend to be something you are not? Unless you are (insert con artist name here).
People do forget that the same ones we are trying to impress by not being ourselves are interested in us being ourselves.
We all have insecurities; God knows every one of us does. Only difference is mine might be greater than yours.
We therefore tend to make up for these flaws/insecurities by fronting.
Talking big, living big etc.
Recently, the most common way to get attention and to be “accepted” is to NAME DROP!
Name-dropping is becoming a menace now.
You are sitting your somewhere thinking about yourself then someone in a bid to impress another person drops your name in a convo and starts talking about you.
We all know how these scenario ends; exaggerations and lies become like pure water. (cheap)!
I think no one can surely say he/she has never name-dropped, or gooped. But why should our name dropping be always negative?
Why cant we go like “oh I know @s_tage , he’s a cool guy, and one talented person”. Or “I know Ofoe, if you ever need an amazing professional photographer contact him”. Or how about “KJR is such a funny dude, madly talented and going places”?
Why does is always have to be “ that skinbis guy dI33 he’s just gay”, or “As for that Yayra Tay di33 she thinks the world revolves around her…”?
Why? Are you telling me there’s nothing nice about Yayra? Her talents perhaps? Studiousness? No? ok.
Whether positive or negative, you do not have to goop to make people like you. If they can’t like you for you, then their loss. Do not go about talking smack about your friends to get new friends.
I mean what is the point in that?
Why would you exchange a few friends who like you for who you really are for many people who will only like an image you’ve created of yourself?
Then when the shit hits the fan, you do a u-turn, go back to your old friends asking for forgiveness and talking about how you need good friends in your life now and needing ‘real people’ who will tell you as it is.
So you knew that before you went and said all that flak about them? The lies? How do you expect them to forgive you and act normal with you?
Who knows when you will go rogue again?
Lately loyalty is like a foreign concept to most of us. We go saying stuff about our friends that we cant say to their faces to other people.
My policy is, if I can’t say it to your face, I should prolly shut up
If I cant tell you the truth, I should shut up.
And my friends will attest to this, I try as much as possible not to lie to them.
If I lie and I need help from them, how am I going to explain myself?
If I cannot tell them the truth, I will simply not tell them anything.
Loyalty is when you have two friends who are enemies and let them know that you won’t allow any of them to talk smack about the other in your presence.
People should learn to leave gooping and name-dropping to Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyonce. They are the ones who get away with it
Value friendships, value bonds, value trust, value loyalty. Its an investment you will profit off in future.

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ANGELS and DEMONS

ANGELS and DEMONS.

I'm very Sorry

Reblogged from Aziz's Blog:

I’m sorry that I can’t do things right I’m sorry for being the reason why you sometimes cry at night I’m sorry for doing things to hurt you

I’m sorry for not being perfect Like they say nobody is perfect I’m sorry I disappoint you I’m sorry I’m a pain I’m sorry I’m a harm

I’m sorry I couldn’t make you believe in me I know you are sad I know you are hurt baby, the pain I have caused you but please don’t forget all that we have been through The Good Times and the Bad Times…

Read more… 38 more words

HUMAN

“What I feel being a human being is just having the freedom to be yourself. Not caring what other people think. Just having that freedom to be you and not being afraid. Because if you are not yourself, then who are you?” – Brandy Norwood

Religion: “You are evil, you need to be delivered, you are dirty”
Society: “You are a fringe element, you are not normal’
Family: “Don’t let us find out, we will disown you”
Friends: “We love you just the way you are, just tone it down a little”
Medicine: “You are suffering from hormonal imbalance”
Psychology: “It’s all in your mind, come lie on this couch and let’s do free association”
Estranged friends: “I used to like and respect you until I found out”
Irregularities: “You are disgusting, you need to be shot”
1st Voice in head: “It’s not your fault, there’s nothing you can do about it”
2nd Voice: “God doesn’t make mistakes, are you saying He made you this way? You calling the Bible a liar? O_o”
1st Voice: “No! But I didn’t ask for this? What am I to do?”

Brandy was on point with that definition of human.
But how do you live freely when all these voices keep ringing in your head?
How do you act and damn the consequences?
Yes some of them mean well
But if they tell you to tone it down what do they mean?
Be a little less of yourself?
Pretend to be something you are not?
You can’t make jokes without it being linked to who you are
Can’t have fun without raising eyebrows.
Check the way you walk, talk, smile, think….tweet….
You get overwhelmed, it gets to you.
To prove that you are not insecure, you become flamboyant instead of subtle.
It’s a rebellion; you become defiant.
Daring them to question you.
You pretend you don’t care.
Deep down you hurt.
Deep down you are burdened with insecurities.
You are ripe with envy.
You feel no one really loves you completely.
You begin to feel you are worthless, dirty, disgusting and evil.
“Maybe I need deliverance after all, maybe a couch and free association?
Its hard not to loathe yourself.
The evenings you go to sleep, hoping you’d wake up and become ‘normal’.
In the morning the harsh reality hits you;
You hide yourself in your personal Utopia.
Flaunt your flaws and pretend the feedback doesn’t hurt.
But after all is said and done, you turn to the only solution you can find.
You find rest in the darkness,
You turn to the only understanding friend.
The one who accepts without questions.
Sweet peaceful Death.

JEALOUSY? INSECURITY OR PLAIN STUPIDITY?

10th February 2012
Hello

Hi babes sup?

Don’t hi babes me! I’m mad at you.

Oh what did I do?

So I was totally checking out your tweets and I saw you tweeted at your ex on 5th January. You said happy birthday baby. I’m sure you are still in love with her.

Oh? It was just a birthday wish. Nothing intended. How many times did you see me tweet at her when you went through my tweets?

Well I don’t know about that. You could be totally flirting with her in her DM.

If I was, don’t you think I’d dm the birthday wish to her?

Look at you! Instead of apologizing, you are being cocky.

I will only apologize if I’m wrong, but I am not here so I don’t see the point.

The point is I don’t see why you should call another girl baby when you say you are in love with me. In short you shouldn’t even have beautiful female friends. Me I know you still love her and want to go back to her. Is it because she is prettier than me?

No! As far as I’m concerned you are the most beautiful girl and it is you I love and want to be with.

Hmmm. I don’t believe you. I see the way you look at other girls when we are in town. And I checked your call logs. You talked to that Betty girl for 5mins yesterday. What were you guys talking about?

Oh really? But you know Betty and I go way back and moreover she’s got a boyfriend.

Well I don’t know. Look how pretty she is, I know you wish I looked like that.

Oh dear! Don’t you get it? I love you just the way you are.

Me if you want to go I will leave you to go. I don’t want to get hurt. I dreamt you got a Blackberry and went on BBM and you cheated on me. I know it will come to pass too.

What is this?

In fact, you know what? I totally don’t deserve this. Let’s break up.

Seriously?

Yes! I mean it. I’m tired. You don’t respect me. Talking to that girl for 5mins. I don’t understand. Let’s end it.

Oh I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.

Well it’s too late now. I’ve made up my mind. Bye.

Hello… hello… HELLO… Damn! She hang up! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, I don’t know but why are some girls so insecure?
Why would you go through your boyfriend’s tweets in the first place? His call logs? Really?
You don’t expect him to have female friends? Why?
This conversation actually happened. Said guy is my friend. And this is just one of many similar convos.
There was a time that she got pissed cos he was walking with me and he said he’d call her back later.
Oh the text messages that came afterwards were just beautiful.
I don’t think anyone deserves to be in this kinda relationship.
If you are a girl and you are this insecure, please don’t date!
What you girls don’t get is, for a guy to date you and show you to his friends, he musta seen something in you that he didn’t in other girls. Be it your wit, looks, body, sex, and even money, be content.
Don’t look for dust where there isn’t any.
And I don’t understand why any self respecting guy would put himself through this kinda drama everyday.
Love? *scoffs* Bitch please! Just open the door and run! Girls like this never change! They break up with you and stalk you when you move on.
If you find a new girl, woe is your destiny. They will make your life miserable.
Even if you are fat! Someone loves you for who you are! Accept that love without question!
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Live, laugh and love right.
Those of you in relationships enjoy.
As for me, it’s just me and my hand tonight!

NUPTIAL BLISS

Look how he has taken the wedding personal. Like he even took the shine from the bride. I love the fashion. So much detail. *side eye*

THE OTHER YOU #3

Happy New year people. Yeah I know I’m late but I’ve been busy. What with my exams and trying to remain pure this year! Its the year of Purity everyone.
Now let’s come to the matter at hand, Kaila and Skinbis. You know after I received your letters, I had planned n sending you scalding replies but through my purity process and all, I realised that 1, you are both not worth it and 2, you would not be my stumbling blocks. So all I have to say to you is that I am praying for you. And hope that its not too late to save you yet.
Forget about either of you taking control cos David is here to stay. See what your antics made classtlkative do to me. Never again.

The real you,
David.

Stay pure people and you shall see God.